For many years there has been a generally accepted idea that when grieving, we pass through five distinct phases: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages sprang from the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and were originally based on her work with terminally ill patients, but have been accepted to apply to the grief of those suffering the loss of someone important in their life. 

Into this conventional wisdom steps George A. Bonanno, Professor of Clinical Psychology and Chair of the Department of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University’s Teachers College, and his new work on the process of grief.  In his new book, The Other Side of Sadness, Bonanno contends that this model does not account for the complexity of the process nor the resiliency of the human mind in coping with loss. He contends that we are hardwired to deal with grief, and for most people it is a natural process that they accomplish on their own:

“Most bereaved people get better on their own, without any kind of professional help. They may be deeply saddened, they may feel adrift for some time, but their life eventually finds its way again, often more easily than they thought possible. This is the nature of grief. This is human nature.”

The Other Side of Sadness is available online in Canada at Chapters.

Grief and and bereavement support services are available in Halifax Regional Municipality here.

For a list of services across Nova Scotia, go here.